Wish You Were Here

21 07 2012

By your side, holding hands. Cold.

Your eyes staring right at me while I try but fail to look back into your soul to find out what you’re feeling, saying and thinking? Trapped.

You clenched me tightly, shaking them as if trying to convey some sort of cryptic message that I could never decipher. Helpless.

I’ve never been big on words but you have always inspired me.

I was the best artist in school because of you, since everyone thought I made my own drawings, although it was actually you haha.

I even longed to have hand-writing like yours. So very artistic!

I always depended on you as being my only real sister, if not a second mother – Saman baji is more like a brother while Mehak is and will always be like a baby to me.

If I was given a chance, you and I would be best friends forever. I hate how we can’t share our life experiences with one another and cherish having each other.

Sigh.

I can’t believe it. Today is the first of Ramadan, 1433 A.H. Almost a year has passed, it seems like yesterday that you were with us.

They say that time heals everything. But what if you don’t want a wound to heal?

If you want something to stay the same, for as long as time itself. Because you don’t want it all to be okay again.

Because NO, you just can’t accept it all being okay again.

No, Amber baji it’s not okay that you’re not here with us anymore.

We would go to the ends of the world for you. Each and every one of us. Even little Hadi and Amanih.
Someone so pure and clean, yet so soiled by the misdemeanors of our own people…

Innalillahi-wa-inna-ilaehi-rajioon.

Happy Ramadan, Amber baji. Hoping that you can read this wherever you are. Family meals are not the same without you here. We miss you more than anything! See you on sunday. ❤

Love,
All of us.

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19 responses

21 07 2012
Rija Yousuf

Rest in peace Ambreen. We love your little brother =]

21 07 2012
Mehak Jamal

Gave me tears.Love you Amber baji.

“They say that time heals everything. But what if you don’t want a wound to heal?

If you want something to stay the same, for as long as time itself. Because you don’t want it all to be okay again.

Because NO, you just can’t accept it all being okay again. ”

Couldn’t agree more on this. Hugg kashif bhai.

21 07 2012
Maryam

I’m really really sorry about your sister. I hope you find the strength to heal and move on because not letting that wound heal will make life hell for you and your family. Who knows? Maybe Amber baji wants you to think and feel good whenever you call her memory to mind. ❤

21 07 2012
Rizwan Liaqat

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioun. May Allah give you and your family the strength to live with this immense loss. 😦

21 07 2012
Rubab Sheikh

I..
this is beautiful.
I mean, I get your pain. Your loss. But she is in a much better place.
hold on strong kashif, you know you can 🙂

21 07 2012
Sidra

This is beautifully written. I wish I could do more than just say Rest in Peace, Amber baji! May Allah grant you and your family to go through this difficult time.

21 07 2012
Maryam

I’m so sorry. It’s really hard to carry on when someone so essential to one’s life leaves. Be strong.
And this piece was beautiful.

21 07 2012
Nazish Tahir

I still remember that day…I could never find the courage to even console you on such a huge loss. It was a shock to us all. Someone you grew up with, you looked up to as your inspiration, it was certainly irreparable and I was totally proud of how you dealt with it 🙂 and how your family is init together.. keeping together, keeping strong!
May Allah grant her the best abode in heavens. She’s definitely looking down from above and laughing at your silly jokes, Kashif 😀

21 07 2012
Abeer Kathawala

This, my darling, is for you and your family
http://breeblues.blogspot.com/2011/10/to-be-immortal.html

21 07 2012
Kashif Jamal

Thanks for this, Abeer. Brilliant poem!

22 07 2012
Kashif Jamal

And thanks for the kind words, guys. It’d really mean a lot if you remember her in your prayers. =)

22 07 2012
Zainab Marvi

Wow. That was very moving, Kashif. You are a very remarkable person, y’know. I’ll remember your sister in my prayers. (:

22 07 2012
imaansheikh

This is such a beautiful piece. You are an amazing, patient person and the best brother Amber Baaji could have. I remember the day she went to a better place. May she rest in peace. She’ll always be in my prayers.

22 07 2012
Nirmal Riaz

Never thought you could be this deep, this is emotional yet beautiful. Keep up! 😀

22 07 2012
Zahra Salahuddin

I know that feel…It will never be okay but the love will never die.

23 07 2012
Laraib Kamal

I can feel the bereavement through your writing. 😦 May her soul rest in jannat ul firdous.

18 08 2012
ifragrance

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal ~ My two and half years old cousin died a few days back and these words were a comfort. I hope Allah Ta’ala gives you and your family the strength to bear this loss ameen.

19 08 2012
Kashif Jamal

Innalillahi-wa-inna-ilaehi-rajioon. Thanks for the kind words and I really hope Allah helps you and your everybody in this time of distress.

28 07 2013
ramadan 2013 calendar

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